our story

I've been meaning to write a blog post detailing how Terry and I came to be. I don't know if it's because I've been feeling nostalgic since moving home to Rapid or since we just had our eighth anniversary, but here's our story.

I don't recall the first time I met Terry, though he does. I'll let him tell that portion of the story a little later.

What I do remember is meeting Terry's sister, Shari, the first day of visiting a new church when I was a junior in high school. Strange enough, that same church is where we left to move to NE for five years, where we were called back to and where Terry is working as the youth pastor now. Crazy.

Back to Shari. She was my first friend at First E-Free. She was friendly and outgoing and welcoming and that was exactly what I needed at that point, being a bit shy myself and not having a place to belong. We hit it off right away and became friends and grew in that friendship. I remember going on a white water rafting trip that summer after my junior year with her and she recited all of Dumb and Dumber. Later we even went backpacking together! Here's Leigh (my youth pastor's wife), Shari and I on the trail in Colorado with our 40 pound backpacks on.

So at first I didn't know Terry because he was four years older than Shari (and three years older than me) and already in college at the Moody Bible Institute in Chicago. But I got to know all about him through Shari because she always talked about him. She so looked up to him and wanted a husband just like him someday. I distinctly remember her telling me about how he gave his favorite band's (Third Day) signed t-shirt away to his girlfriend. Sigh. That fact alone made me very interested in this nice guy. I also remember Shari sharing a photo of a girl that Terry was taking to a banquet at Moody and how I felt jealous! I didn't even know him though!

Here's Terry's remembrance of our first meeting:

- - -

Hello everyone. Well, I don't usually do much on this blog - though I love it - but Eva is pointing a dart gun at my head so I will contribute a bit.

My first remembrance of meeting Eva was at church. I seem to remember sitting on the opposite side of the sanctuary and I think she was sitting with my sister. Why I wasn't sitting with my sister is a mystery - so leave me alone. Anyway, my sister is a very welcoming, friendly person and I thought somehow she had befriended an exchange student from Norway, I mean, her name was Eva ("Ava") _ _ee_e (that's too many "e's" to be from America). So, I approached them after the service thinking, "Hey, I'm a TESOL major (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages), I can totally teach this fine foreigner to speak English and some day marry this Norwegian Princess." Well, I was a bit taken back when I learned she wasn't from Norway, but that didn't mean I had to give up the rest of the plan. So, sure enough, I taught her English and married my "missing rib." Thus ends my recollection of first meeting Eva KK, now Eva KB.

- - -

Okay me again. I'm glad I got the dart gun out because I knew he'd be a heck of a lot funnier telling that story. So to continue on, I don't remember our initial meeting though I do remember sitting with his family and Shari once in church. The first time I remember actually talking to Terry was during spring break of my freshman year of college in 2002. I went out to the ranch to hang out with Shari for the day and Terry was also home for spring break. It had just snowed and Terry took Shari and I out behind the 4-wheeler in a giant sled. We had just a ton of fun. I even took a turn with Terry in the sled and talked to him about Lord of the Rings since I had just finished reading it and was crazy obsessed with it. I thought a Moody grad would know something about it. He knew hardly anything about it but I was majorly attracted to him nonetheless. Later that night Terry's friend Pat brought his snowmobiles out to the ranch and we four went gallivanting through the night on them - me with Terry and Shari with Pat. I can still remember how that felt. I ended up spending the night with Shari due to bad roads.

By the time I had to go back to school I had a meltdown because I liked Terry so much. I remember praying while I was driving back about how I didn't want to like a guy because I was trying to get past my obsessive desire for a boyfriend (I had never had one before and desperately wanted someone to love me). This desire had become something of an idol to me and I was working hard to trust God to care for my needs in His timing and in His way. I liked Terry quite a bit already but tried really hard not to think of him. After all, he was all the way in Chicago studying to be a missionary in China! There was no way it would ever, could ever, work out.

But he emailed me. He just "wanted to know" if I was planning on going to Sonshine Music Festival that coming summer with a group from the church. There I was trying to forget him but he actually seemed interested in me (that had never happened to me before). I was excited and yet trying hard to not get my hopes up.

When summer came, Terry was home from college for once. He had graduated the previous December - of 2001 - and had not gone to China straight away, not feeling ready. He worked the spring semester of 2002 in Chicago and came home to roof for his dad since he owned a roofing company. That summer we got to know each other. There was church and bible studies with his friend Adam who came back with him to live for the summer and other college age students. There were trips to McDonald's after bible study for ice cream and outings as a group with friends to other places. I was falling for him pretty fast and still not knowing if anything could ever work out or even if he did like me, all the while trying not to like him.

We did end up going to Sonshine that summer with some other college students. That was a strange trip. Terry was not quite himself and I was confused about my feelings for him. Later he told m he did like me a lot and felt like he was blowing every opportunity with me. He'd be super crazy and silly one moment and then turn around and be depressed. It was strange. So after we returned from Sonshine, I was confused for a bit but I became excited about him again very soon. He had me out to his house for a dinner with his friend Adam and his girlfriend Helena. Later Terry told me Helena made a pass at him even though she knew he was interested in me. He was so mad!

Finally, he took me on a proper date. To Culvers. We ate and talked. Afterwards we were sitting outside and he told me, "Well... I like you." And I said, "I like you too." And then we did cart wheels in the parking lot.

Still we didn't know how this thing could work - college, China, etc.. Terry talked to my dad about his serious intentions toward me (marriage) and he gave his blessing. I was initially very concerned Shari would hate me for dating her brother but she was happy for us! And so we began dating long distance since we both had to go back to school. I did my sophomore year in my undecided major at SDSU and he started grad school at Moody. We were nine hours apart. But that didn't stop us seeing one another. Terry drove to Brookings, SD to surprise me in October 2002. That's when we first said "I love you." I think I went to visit him in Chicago as well in the fall, which is a trip we did a few times. I would drive three hours to Minnesota and he'd drive six hours there to pick me up. Then we'd drive another six hours together back to Chicago. So all in all, Terry would drive 24 hours in one weekend to see me.

Here we are at Thanksgiving in Spearfish Canyon. We went with my family to find a Christmas tree. We were so silly though - we gave this photo to our families as a Christmas gift. We weren't even engaged! I guess there was no secret where we were headed!

After Christmas, things changed for me. Somehow, I started freaking out. I started over-thinking if we were right for each other. Whereas before, it was so very crystal clear to me and everyone else that we were supposed to be together, I started wondering "What if...?". I put us both through a very long, very hard ordeal. I've never been through anything harder than that time in my life. I don't know what came over me. I think it was partly my desire for perfection and control but also I think it was a lot of spiritual attacks. So from Christmas 2002 until we got married, things were complicated and very difficult.

Things never changed for Terry. He was still 100% sure about us. He flew me out to Chicago in February of 2003. Here we are at the movie Daredevil, which I didn't care for. I still liked Terry a ton - I loved him - but I was just so confused. I had never had a boyfriend and was over-thinking God's will. I made it into something very complicated where I had to jump through hoops to ensure that God would be nice to me and not bring bad things into my life if I made a mistake instead of accepting and enjoying the gift He gave me.

Whoops. I think this photo is from Fall 2002. We climbed SDSU's Campanile. We look so young and happy!

Over the Christmas holiday we spent a lot of time hanging out with one another's families. Here Terry is comforting me after a sister attack.

I even learned about branding cattle. I was a little shocked at the whole process.

We did a lot of bowling in Sturgis together.

In the Spring of 2003, we got engaged. Terry worked really hard at perfecting the day. He had received my dad's permission and organized everything perfectly. He had my friend SaraJane and her husband bring me out to the ranch on the pretense of taking photos of us (engagement photos...). After taking photos, SJ and Micah "went home"/to his grandparents house, Terry told me that he and his dad found something in the field that he wanted to show me. When he gave me a hug I noticed that his heart was beating quite fast.

I had my suspicions, but off in his Blazer we went and he parked us by this rock outcropping on his grampa's land - he and Shari had been hard at work up there the day before, as I found out later. He then instructed me to close my eyes while he dug something out of the backseat. I knew what was happening but I tried to pretend I didn't. He placed a wrapped box on my lap and when I opened it, there was a Bible with my name on it (it even had his last name with mine). Inside was a series of letters on the inside cover plus 10-15 verses marked with pieces of paper detailing sweet things about me. Next he had me close my eyes again while he did more digging around the backseat. As he was getting back in the front seat, he dropped something and I heard a very distinctive "ping!" sound. I smiled and shook my head because I knew he hadn't dropped a quarter like he said. He dropped the ring!

Terry came around to my side of the Blazer and carried me up the rocks with my eyes closed. When he stood me on my feet and I opened my eyes he was on his knee with a big rock behind him which he had inscribed "Eva will you marry me? 4/19/03" And then he asked me and I said yes and we hugged and he gave me a very beautiful solitaire diamond platinum ring. He got me exactly what I would have wanted. Then we want back to his parents house where everyone was waiting for us and then came back out to the rock where SaraJane took this photo.

So next we had to decide on the wedding. Terry wanted to do it right away and I would have also had I not been so messed up. He was so understanding and patient. We set the date for the following summer, in 2004. Poor Terry. But we both decided to move home with our parents to be closer to one another and for me to have more support. I don't know what I would have done without my parents. He did grad school by correspondence and I started nursing school in the spring of 2004.

Storybook Island fun before my brother's graduation.

Finally, we got married on June 19, 2004. I woke up on The Day at like 3am, unable to sleep anymore and anxious about everything. I got my Bible out, the one Terry had got me over a year before. I read through all of his little notes and wondered if he really still felt all of those sweet things for me. I prayed a lot. While getting ready before the wedding, my friend brought me a card from Terry. He said exactly what I needed to hear - how he still felt all those things he put in my Bible and that he would take care of me for our whole lives. I had to have my make-up re-done because I cried. My friend was like, "Can't you see how much you love him and how right this is?" He had put me at ease.

Our marriage ceremony was wonderful - very moving. I had only been to one wedding before and so had no idea how to plan a wedding. It went so wonderfully well and all of my anxieties were gone when Terry cried as I came down the aisle. Since then, all of my doubts and issues slowly went away, leaving me with overwhelming thankfulness that I did indeed marry Terry. It was and is the best decision I've ever made.