therapy

So, today... It's not even over yet but it's been a strange one - funny mood swings. Making this blog has been my therapy.

As you'll see in this video, Noah and Evie began the day well "playing" together. Noah is a little rough with poor Evie but he IS a boy. I was forcefully reminded of video of Terry playing w/Shari when they were little... But as Noah never hurt her and she didn't cry, please don't write me off as a terrible mom, yet... They were both laughing and more importantly, she was laughing.



After lunch, we were all a little cranky. Perhaps it was due to being cooped up in the house for too long. I dunno. So I packed us up in the double stroller and set off for a walk to the green slide. Noah wanted Snap dog to come. But as I mentioned, I was a little cranky and didn't want to deal w/the dog. So I said an emphatic NO and set off. Noah, however, wasn't ready to let the matter drop. He kept on crying out for the Snap and said he wanted to go home. This behavior wasn't helped by the fact that Snap was yipping behind our fence as we were leaving. I kept going, biting my tongue when he complained and whined.

So we get to the park and swing, swing...swing. That's all they wanted to do. I wanted to get some library books for the boy since I am getting so tired of all the board books he's been preferring lately. But he wanted to go home. I said NO again and set off for the library.

Evie's new sandals.

See, that shoe is off again!

Once at the library Noah hopped out and was on his way down to the child's department, or so I thought, as I was maneuvering Evie out of the stroller hampered by her cute but inefficient shoes that fall off if w/the slightest movement. All of the sudden a really loud noise began and at first I thought it was just some random noise and I continued trying to get Evie out. When the noise continued, I figured something was up and looked for Noah. He was standing next to the fire alarm w/his hand in his mouth w/a frightened look on his face... Yeah, you can guess what happened there. I tried putting the fire alarm switch back down but it wouldn't go and Evie was still stuck in her seat so I grabbed her. Then the librarian, who knows Noah, came out, smiled kindly at him and started fiddling w/the box that controls the alarms. I am somewhat ashamed b/c when I saw her I asked Noah to say sorry. He kinda mumbled his apology and burst into tears. A LOT of tears. Poor little guy.

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I realized right away, but too late of course, that I'd done the wrong thing. My little man was scared and didn't need to think he was in trouble for something he didn't even know was wrong in the first place. Did I mention I was cranky? Well, now you know I'm not a perfect mom, as the video above probably points out, even if you thought it was okay =).

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So we go downstairs and Noah is just wailing. So he cried the entire time I looked for books and wasn't consoled when his Story Hour teacher tried to distract him, soothe him or talk to him. He's NEVER been so clingy. He didn't want me to put him down! He cried all the way home. He cried on my lap when we got home. He cried himself to sleep. Thankfully he is napping now, but I worry that I've wounded my son! I sure hope this isn't like a pivotal moment in his life where he realizes he can't please mommy so why try... Ug, what an afternoon.